Tired of Being Tired? Rethinking Sleep as a Leadership and Life Skill
How are you being a catalyst of change?
What if We Stopped Wearing Busyness as a Badge of Honour?
Once upon a time, I slept with the windows wide open, curtains nowhere in sight, in a house surrounded by fields. My body naturally woke with the rising sun and the sound of birdsong, and when darkness fell, I slept. Simple. No blue light from phones buzzing beside me. No endless scrolling keeping my brain whirring into the early hours. My mornings began with movement, my days shaped by natural rhythms.
Fast forward a few decades, and I found myself in a world where sleep was no longer a priority but something I desperately craved. Ironic, isn’t it?
I became an expert in surviving on too little sleep. Military training taught me how to function through sleep deprivation. Partying until the early hours, then heading straight to work? Done that too many times. Shift patterns in the military meant I lived in a state of jet lag without ever stepping on a plane. Then came the new-born days. Broken sleep became the norm. And let’s not even start on corporate life. Always one more thing to finish. Always striving. Always on. My brain never switched off.
It wasn’t until I stepped into coaching that I really saw it. The chronic stress, the constant doing, the weekends jam-packed like the working week. Holidays weren’t for enjoyment; they were for recovery. Two weeks of ‘leave me the hell alone on this sunbed’ before diving straight back into old habits.
Through coaching, I started exploring self-care, restorative practices, meditation, essentially, listening to my body. The shift was immense. My cognitive function improved, I felt emotionally steadier, my physical health changed. But, as with many great habits, some of them slipped away.
Why? Life.
Grief, trauma, Covid, work, menopause. I could use any of them as excuses. But what if, instead of justifying why we don’t rest, we created new narratives? Stories about how much better life feels when we rest? What happens when we prioritise sleep, when we sprinkle our day with moments of recuperation? How does the world feel when we wake up rested? More spacious, more easeful, more possible.
The Science of Sleep
Here’s the thing, sleep isn’t a luxury. It’s a biological necessity. It’s the time when our brain consolidates memories, processes information, and even clears out metabolic waste. Our body undergoes repair and growth. Sleep fuels creativity (ever noticed your best ideas come when you wake up?), problem-solving, emotional stability, and even strengthens the immune system. Yet, somehow, we glorify running on empty, wearing exhaustion like a badge of honour.
Building Better Sleep Habits
Recently, I started exercising again, which means an early wake-up. Not exactly restful, you might say. But it’s made me reassess my evening routine - setting clearer boundaries, making sleep a strategy, not an afterthought. And it’s working.
Do I still wake up in the night? Yep. But now, instead of checking the time and spiralling into ‘Oh no, I’ve only got X hours left,’ I simply do what I need to do and slide back under the covers. Deep, slow breaths. A short meditation. Zonk.
So, what does your sleep space look like? How do you swaddle yourself in comfort? How do you create a space that feels safe enough to truly let go?
What I’m Doing to Set Better Boundaries
Gratitude journaling – writing is a somatic practice that helps my nervous system settle.
Making notes when I wake up – jot it down, then lie back down.
Getting rid of screens – blue light and late-night doom scrolling? No thanks.
Stop checking the time – it’s a trap. Trust your body.
And Now… Let’s Talk Naps
Ah, naps. I have always envied those who can nap on demand (looking at you, husband, you lucky sod). I used to avoid them, always feeling groggy afterward, pushing through instead. But science, my friends, has my back.
Turns out, naps over 60 minutes leave you feeling terrible, but anything under 30 minutes? Energising. The sweet spot? 26 minutes. Almost exactly like a Pomodoro focus cycle.
So today, on my way to Wales, I was working in the car (not driving, I hasten to add), felt shattered, and instead of pushing through, I reclined the chair and napped. The difference? Massive.
How Well Do You Really Listen to What You Need?
When I say listen, I don’t mean think about it … I mean bodily listen.
How does your body feel?
What’s your energy like?
Are you snapping at people, or feeling calm and connected?
Do you crave company, or do you need solitude?
Where are you holding tension?
We can check in daily, not just on January 1st when we make lofty promises to ourselves. Because tuning in and responding to our needs is not indulgence. It’s essential.
In the wise words of E. Joseph Kosman:
“The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.”
So go on, take a breath, take a break and for the love of all things restful, take a nap if you need one. You’re worth it.
Bobby Davis is a qualified executive and team coach with extensive experience in organisational development, business change (the people angle), human resources and personal leadership.
Her coaching experience is against a backdrop of 30+ years working in managerial and human resources/OD roles in the British Army, Not for Profits, Professional Services and most recently with a private equity owned Hotel Group.
She has led the People “strand” within large business transformation programmes, creating people strategies, internal coaching schemes and embedding strong performance cultures, as well as supporting at all levels of an organisation to implement effective change.
She is absolutely passionate in her pursuit to support, challenge and deliver sustainable change for individuals, teams and organisations, one person at a time if necessary!
You can catch her for a chat about coaching, using your body better as a leader and/or supporting you in HR/OD here Bobby Davis FCIPD PCC | LinkedIn
And check out her dulcet tones in “More Than A Lumpy Jumper” - Conversations about Leadership, Life and Learning here More Than a Lumpy Jumper | Podcast on Spotify
